Fritz,+Aimee


 * JAPANESE AND AMERICAN FAMILIES **

**THE JAPANESE FAMILY **

Japanese parents influence their children to focus on their education, and feel as if that is their job as parents. Marriage is sometimes arranged; because love is not needed to marry in the Japanese culture. Arranged marriages rarely end in divorce, and there are not many babies born outside of marriage. Once a Japanese woman becomes a mother, that is what they are seen as by the Japanese men. The purpose of marriage is to have children and a woman at home to take care of the house and children. The Japanese marriage arrangement is more like a business partnership. When marriage doesn’t work out the children are often left behind by their fathers because he is not as involved or interested in them as the mother.

Japanese parents will invest large amounts of money to ensure the best education for their children. It is not abnormal for working children to live at home even after college. Their strong focus on education dissuades independence. The Japanese prefer that their children worry about their studies and future career instead of preparation to be on their own. The oldest son will be provided with financial assistance for a home after marriage. In return, it is the responsibility of the oldest son to take care of his parents when they grow old. The Japanese family unit is highly respected and held above anything else in a person’s life. Younger children are to respect their elders and learn from their grandparents’ acumen and experiences. Children are raised to put other family members in front of themselves and be selfless in and in touch with nature.

**Family Roles **

In the traditional Japanese family, the mother’s place is mostly at home administering the family. The women are expected to manage the family finances, oversee the children’s education, and assist with homework. The men’s role is to provide financial support for his family. If manageable, the women will work part-time jobs and receive assistance with the children when needed from the grandparents.

As in any culture, old tradition fades away and new generations create new traditions. Nowadays, fathers in Japan are encouraged to get more involved in school related activities, though involvement is still minimal. The men are still the primary source of income and have a hard time taking time off work for such events; as well they still may be too coy to participate in school activities. There are also younger parents who have a more modern lifestyle and share the responsibilities at work and at home. With the changing times, Japanese parents are planning their later lives so as not to depend upon their children. This is a reflection of the Western family system in which independence from family is stressed.

Japanese parents have always had fears of the natural family order being disturbed and they try to keep children from losing self-control. With the Western influence and modernization, Japanese children are said to lose control more often, forcing the parents to make adjustments. Some children go to Juku after school, which is an exam preparation school. In doing this, the children have less opportunities to get into trouble. They are at Juku until late at night and then they retreat to their room upon returning home. This has changed the parent-child relationship greatly because many aspects are compromised, such as quality time, respect and cooperation.   **THE AMERICAN FAMILY **

American families are much more diverse than Japanese families, and marriage is undervalued which contributes to that diversity and results in many broken homes. However, marriage in the American culture is about love and commitment for life. Children outside of marriage are becoming more and more accepted and is very common in America. Marriages don’t always last, and it’s also very common for a couple to divorce. In contrast to a Japanese divorce, American parents will usually have a fight resulting in legal action when it comes to child custody.

American parents have always felt is their jobs to make sure that their children understand the importance of becoming independent, and being an individual. Americans are constantly striving to be independent and the elderly even try to take care of themselves for as long as possible. In fact the elderly in America can feel like burdens sometimes, because of the lack of detachment that is experienced in America. As an unfortunate result of focus on independence; families are distant, education is not a primary focus, and children misunderstand their roles in life. There are strains on family relationships because everyone is too wrapped up in themselves in their fast-paces lives and there is little time to be there for each other.

Unfortunately, there is a very thin line between independence and selfishness and many Americans have trouble finding a “happy medium.” Parents lose sight of the true meaning of individualism and family and their children grow up too fast. They mistake freedom for independence and end up raising themselves. In their free-time, even young children attend parties with drugs and alcohol and there is little that parents can do. Children look forward to reaching the age of sixteen, so that they can drive themselves wherever they want to go; because this represents another form of independence. Children and parents are at a constant battle to be in charge, and they have little or no respect for their elders. In fact, there is no requirement set forth for any member of the family to take care of their aging parents and living with one’s parents is considered a flaw. The age of eighteen is a point of destination for all American teenagers, because they are considered adults, and they can move out, get away from their parents and do whatever they want. Unlike the traditional Japanese family, Americans spend less time with their family members as they get older and the family drifts apart.

**Family Roles **

Parents share the responsibilities of raising children and in many cases, the housework. Both parents help with schoolwork and attend school functions. As in Japanese tradition, the men provide the monetary income but it is not abnormal for the women to make more money than the men, nor is it out of the ordinary for husbands in America to stay home with the children. However, the bulk of the housework and child supervision is usually the mother’s job. There are not many rules and regulations when it comes to family roles, and each family is entitled to their own system.

**<span style="font-family: 'Constantia','serif'; font-size: 12pt;">CONCLUSION AND COMPARISON **

<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 12pt;">While there are some similarities that exist in both the Japanese and American cultures, they have many different family values. Japanese children are taught to live for their family and the honor that they bring to their unit. They are brought up to respect their elders, and focus on school. American children are taught to live for themselves and to learn how to make their own decisions in preparation for the future. In both cultures, most of the child-rearing and housework is done by the women, sometimes with exceptions. American fathers assist in homework and projects, and this duty falls mainly on the Japanese women. Japanese children spend their time focusing on education, whereas American children look forward to being on their own, and having fun. The oldest son of Japanese families is to take care of the parents when they grow old, in contrast to American families who put their parents in nursing homes when they can. Until that point, Americans try to be without help for as long as possible. Even though Japan has modernized over the years, the traditional values were focused on education, discipline and the family unit. Japanese families these days have become more like American families. American family’s primary focus is on independence and materialism, causing families to struggle with their connections to each other.

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<span style="font-family: 'Constantia','serif'; font-size: 10pt; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 2.75pt;">REFERENCES <span style="font-family: 'Constantia','serif'; font-size: 10pt; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 2.75pt;">An Overview of Japanese and American Family Values <span style="font-family: 'Constantia','serif'; font-size: 10pt; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 2.75pt;">Marriage in Japan and in the West <span style="font-family: 'Constantia','serif'; font-size: 10pt; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 2.75pt;">Global Studies of Family Values